Fresh Milk?

Processed milk in India is, well, very processed and contains an array of lovely chemicals.  It’s sold unrefrigerated in boxes or in little plastic bags, and needless to say, it tastes funny.  I don’t like it, so I haven’t been drinking much milk and I’m sure that I haven’t been getting enough calcium either.

I decided to do my best to get fresh milk, which is delivered in tins by men on motorcycles.  I see them everywhere on the roads, so I know that fresh milk exists.  I called the housing office to see if they could help me arrange delivery of fresh milk a couple times a week.  This is an abridged version of our conversation:

“Uh, yes, I’m wondering if you could help me get fresh milk delivered?”

Fresh milk, madam?

“Yes, sir, fresh milk.”

Yes, madam.  There is a boy who delivers packaged milk every morning.  How much should he bring to you?

“No, no.  I mean fresh milk, not packaged.”

Yes, madam.  Then you can get fresh milk at the canteen.  They serve it hot.

“No, I’m pretty sure that is not fresh milk.  It tastes like packaged milk.  I don’t want packaged milk.”

No, madam.  That is fresh milk…

“No, it is packaged milk.”

Yes, madam.  Fresh packaged milk.

Ok, so I’m clearly using the wrong vocabulary.

“I’d like unprocessed milk, sir, directly from the cow.”

Oh!  You want cow’s milk?

“Uh, yes, cow’s milk.  Fresh, right from the cow.  Unprocessed.”

Now we’re getting somewhere.

Ok, madam.  No problem.  I’ll call the boy who comes from the village everyday and see if he can bring cow’s milk.  How much do you want?

“Great.  I’ll take two liters.”

So I think the problem is solved, and I’ll be getting fresh milk; I just have to call a day before I want it.  Then, the phone rings.

Two liters is a problem madam.  It is not easy to bring two liters.

“Ok, so is it easier to bring less or more?”

No, no madam.  Two liters is a problem.  Very hard to bring two liters.

“Ok, but how much can I have?  Is one liter easier or is five liters easier?”

Madam, two liters is not possible.  How much would you like?

“I’ll take one liter.”

Ok, one liter.  It is better. Uh, madam, it is okay if it is buffalo milk?

“Sure.”  (“Buffalo” here are what I think are water buffalo, not bison.)

Later that night, someone knocks at my door and hands me two liters of fresh milk.  By fresh I mean unpackaged, unprocessed, unchemicalized, and straight from the cow.  Er, buffalo.